My boyfriend has some problems? (Smoking, drinking)?He smokes weed and drinks. He knows I don't like it and how I feel about it. He says he wants to stop for me, but it's going to be hard and he doesn't know if he can since he's been doing it so long and he's so used to it. I told him that I didn't want to talk to him while he was under the influence of either, and he got upset. Was it wrong to tell him that I didn't want to talk to him during that time? What do you think I can do to help him quit? Or any advice you could give me would be great. Thanks everyone.
Nina310
My ex was the same way. Not with the whole drinking but the smoking weed part he was a champ at. I don't know if this will help you but I can only give you what happened to me. I never asked my ex to stop any of it but I did tell him that I wouldn't be with someone who did those things. He stopped smoking and hanging out with that crowd once me and him got together. Everything was fine and we really fell in love until he ran into some family problems. It became too much for him to handle even thought before, he would confide in me. After 5 months of not smoking and really cleaning up his life COMPLELTY, he fell into the same bad habits again. Only this time it became worse: the weed turned to crack and he would take out his anger & frustration on me verbally, stopped calling me & stopped confiding in me. I finally told him that I was done trying to be there for him to only have him take out his problems on me. He knew it was coming.
I haven't heard or seen him since the break up & it's only been a little over 3 weeks. I miss him like crazy but I miss the man he was trying to become not the BOY he is choosing to be right now. Honestly, you can't try to help him quit. He has to do it on his own because he has to learn that he can stand on his own and MAKE IT. Of course you should be there for him if he calls you up when he feels the urge to smoke but don't ever sacrifice yourself for a man.
You shouldn't want him to change for you just like I didn't want my ex to change for me. I wanted him to change for himself. Don't pressure him, he'll do it one step at a time and sometimes those steps are baby steps but if he really wants it, he will get there.
I really hope things work out for you better then they did for me. Best of luck.
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